


Hair, Glorious Hair

by OnceABlueMoon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Gen, Hair, Humor, Kid Fic, Long Hair, Musical References, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 21:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12690561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceABlueMoon/pseuds/OnceABlueMoon
Summary: Young Madara and Hashirama pine for long, flowing locks. Which requires a ‘Hair, glorious hair,’ performance a la Oliver Twist’s ‘Food, glorious food,’ of course.





	Hair, Glorious Hair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Adel Mortescryche (Mortescryche)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mortescryche/gifts).
  * Inspired by ['Food, Glorious Food,'' from Oliver! the Musical](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/337779) by Lionel Bart. 



> I don’t own Naruto and Oliver Twist the Musical
> 
> For this fic, I rewrote the song ‘Food, glorious food,’’ from Oliver Twist. I used the musical version, which has one couplet more than the movie version, I believe, but it was too glorious to leave out (yes, it’s the part about ‘handsome’).

‘’If only dad would let me grow my hair out!’’ Hashirama tugged at his hair.

Madara nodded. ‘’Chin-length’s better than your bowl cut, but my mom keeps going: ‘Long hair is the type of arrogance that will get you killed, young man!’’

Looking at each other, they gave one of their infamous dynamic duo performances out of nowhere. Nobody had ever seen them, but that did not stop them from singing.

 _‘’Is it worth the waiting for?_  
_If we live 'til eighty-four_  
_All we ever get is split... ends!_  
Ev'ry _day we say our prayer --_  
_Will they change the bill of fare?_  
Still _we get the same old hair... cut!_  
_There's not a plea, not a word can we find_  
_Can we beg, can we convince, our parents!_  
_But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill_  
_When we all close our eyes and_ imag _..._ ine  
  
_Hair, glorious hair!_  
_Long, flowing and healthy!_  
_Nothing can compare --_  
_To big wild and wealthy!_  
_Gel,_ waves _and dreadlocks!_  
_What next is the question?_  
_Adults have those, Goldilocks --_  
_A_ brai-ding _session!_  
  
_Hair, glorious hair!_  
_We're anxious to try it_  
_Brush three times a day –_

 _Get those knots out!_  
  
_Just picture a great big_ mane _\--_  
_Afro, tresses or ruffled,_  
_Oh, hair,_  
_Wonderful hair_  
_Marvellous hair_  
_Glorious hair!_

_Hair, glorious hair!  
What is there more handsome?_

_Spikes, layers, extensions --_  
_Still worth a king's ransom!_  
_What is it we dream about?_  
_What brings on a sigh?_

 _Sleek hair in buns, about_  
_Six feet high!_  
  
_Hair, glorious hair!_  
_Pigtails on the menu_  
_Just let down your hair_  
_Two inches and then you_  
_Work up a new appetite_  
_In this interlude --_  
_The hair!_  
_Once again, hair,_  
_Fabulous hair,_  
_Glorious hair!_

 _Hair, glorious hair!_  
_Don't care what it looks like --_  
_Frizzy!_  
_Reigned in!_  
_Floofy!_  
_Don't care what the shampoo's like_  
_Just thinking of locks not matte --_  
_Our senses go reeling_  
_One moment of knowing that_  
_Hair-flip feeling!_

  
_Hair, glorious hair!_  
_What wouldn't we give for_  
_That extra bit more --_  
_That's all that we live for_  
_Why should we be fated to_  
_Do nothing but stare_  
_At hair_  
_Magical hair_  
_Wonderful hair_  
_Marvellous hair_  
_Fabulous hair_  
  
_Beautiful hair!_  
_Glorious hair!’’_

Behind his bush, Tobirama snorted. ‘’They deserve each other. Besides, everyone knows faceguards are way cooler than _long hair_.’’

**Author's Note:**

> I blame I-W-P-chan, BlueRam and Adel Mortescryche for this. Our conversations about hair are _enabling_.


End file.
